


belle femme

by campholmes



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Lesbian AU, Recreational Drug Use, Smut, Trans Katya, cis trixie, katya is a french teacher, mild panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-16 22:45:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10581045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/campholmes/pseuds/campholmes
Summary: “Ma colombe,” Katya whispers into the skin of Trixie’s shoulder, kisses it. She can see her red lipstick stamped on the freckles of Trixie’s breasts and she smiles, lips curling on Trixie’s soft skin.(Katya is a French teacher that doesn't want to date, but Violet makes sure that she falls in love with Trixie anyway.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone! this is a lesbian au with french teacher!katya and mac store manager!trixie, there will be three chapters and they will each focus on a slice of their relationship. there are french definitions at the end notes, i actually do speak french so i'm less likely to fuck it up but if there is an issue please let me know! feat. coffee, dog!, and boob freckles. let me know if you like!! the next two chapters should be coming soon. special thanks to everyone that has ever commented on my fics or messaged me ILY ALL. tumblr: fleursverts

Katya has gotten to the point of feeling absent, a little absent and off her game, and game meaning purpose maybe. Or creativity.

Usually she thought about this on her long walks in the evenings, something that she never saw herself doing when she was younger, never thought she would be one to take a walk for pleasure. Walks were boring and she was purposeful, why walk aimlessly when you could be doing something interesting?

Now, a walk is a glass of fresh water, straight from the tap, or the first click of her own heel on the floor of her own apartment after a long day at work. Then again, she never imagined that she would work so much that entering her home felt magical, but here she is.

Katya can’t wait to feel secure enough in her job that she can wear a fucking jelly sandal.

Fifth through eighth graders never really scared her when she was a student teacher, the idea of permanence, that bothered her. She was afraid of a permanent job, of walking into work every day knowing you were about to see the same kids today that you did yesterday, and then the same kids next year, and that they were going to remember you, and all the mistakes you made, that entire time. Now, though, she’s more prepared and more confident. She knows that she’s good, she knows that she’s a real teacher with real skill and real patience. 

When Katya was in college, she prided herself on her ability to sit for hours, smoking a blunt, surrounded by white paper, and come out with feet of poetry, and when she read it back it was pretty good, and some of her poems got published in the college magazine.

Now, she prides herself on making a nice salad for dinner and sitting out on her balcony on the plastic chair next to the vine growing in the pot, chain smoking cigarettes and grading paper after paper, test after test until it gets night-cold.

Then, she prides herself on picking her body up and taking it to bed.

None of those things are especially something to be super proud of, but she would kill for a blunt right now. She isn’t too upset about the shift in priorities, but it is interesting how adulthood has caught up with her.

Her new and permanent job is at a liberal middle school in Los Angeles, so she can stand in front of the class with her dick between her legs and still be taken seriously by the other faculty and the students. Small blessings, she’s still physically and emotionally exhausted and every few months her hair will start coming out in clumps again.

So yeah, she feels pretty fucking absent.

Katya loves her job, loves it with her every atom, and when she’s in class and a student says a word that she hasn’t taught them yet she feels so proud, and so many of these kids are so good, especially her gay and trans kids, who sometimes eat lunch with her and make her classes fun and lively. She likes to think that she’s a good teacher, barely anyone ever fails her classes yet she knows that the kids are still learning.

She knows that she’s also pretty strict and serious at times, a strong enough presence that her students take her seriously, and learn from her.

Katya has always regarded teaching as a somewhat holy position, a teacher holds the literal future of the world in their hands, and a teacher like her is important for many reasons.

She’s still fucking exhausted, and she feels guilty every time that she thinks it.

```

Katya hasn’t dated anyone in probably years. The last time she dated someone was likely in college but she honestly doesn’t remember, and she knows it isn’t because of the drugs, it’s just because it was so fucking long ago and she had a completely different mindset back then.

Now, she’s just taking life day-by-day, and dating seems way too complicated whenever she thinks about it, even in theory. 

The most she feels like she ever does socially is go to her friend Violet’s for her weekly Saturday night dinner parties. Violet is married already (probably not already, nobody Katya knows is too young to get married now), to Pearl and they have a little yappy dog that Katya wants to steal. Violet works for some fashion designer downtown and Katya isn’t sure what Pearl does but it has something to do with music.

Anyway, they make Katya feel unaccomplished and uncool, the two of them have a small, modern house just outside of downtown LA and they treat their dog like a kid, they both look young and they’re edgy, Violet still goes and sees the shows that her and Katya’s old art friends from college put on, and neither of them are alcoholics or drug addicts so they party all the time and get home late and they fuck on every surface of their small home.

Katya wonders how the dog feels about that.

Whenever Katya goes over for dinner with them, Max (who works with Violet), Ginger (Katya doesn’t know how she got absorbed into their group but she did), and Kim (who does Pearl’s makeup at the mall), she feels like she belongs there, she feels fun and young. But as soon as she leaves and steps into her cluttered apartment with all of the art pieces resting on the floor that she hasn’t had the time to hang up yet, the full ashtrays, and the patterned blankets piled up on the couch for when she falls asleep grading or watching TV, she feels pretty damn old.

```

Violet is rapidly becoming obsessed with finding Katya a girlfriend.

For some reason, Violet has always taken it upon herself to be a go-getter, work hard, and focus in order to get her desired outcome. This is something Katya is not as familiar with, sure she’s proud of her accomplishments but she could never work herself to the bone like Violet does without having a complete mental breakdown.

But lately, Violet has turned that terrifying energy onto Katya for some reason, and her skinny arms will entrap Katya once she enters the house, immediately begin to babble away about a girl that she works with, or that one of her friends knows, or whatever, Katya doesn’t really listen.

Part of her doesn’t care, Violet hasn’t even introduced her to anyone yet, but also part of her knows that if Violet _really_ finds someone that she thinks Katya will like then she will make sure that they meet each other. 

Right now, Katya is just glad that it’s Saturday so that she can debrief with her friends, she saw Pearl on Tuesday, they went shopping together for Violet’s birthday presents and had a great time, but Katya still misses them every day that she doesn’t see them. Adulthood is lonely.

Katya always feels like she needs to dress up for these dinner parties, even though she knows that she doesn’t have to, she could come in a t-shirt and shorts and nobody would even notice but she likes dressing up for her friends in a way that’s different from dressing up for a classroom. When she dresses up for her friends she can wear whatever she wants and guaranteed Pearl will love it, she appreciates Katya’s eclectic style, but also Violet will groan when she sees it, which is priceless, and Kim, Max, and Ginger won’t comment deliberately.

They’re all cute, and she loves them.

Katya is digging around in her closet for her red Dr. Martens boots, one of them hanging from her white teeth by the laces, one of her legs stuck in a pile of dresses on the floor, when she gets a text from Violet.

Violet usually texts Katya a few hours before to tell her to grab some juice (Violet forgets Katya doesn’t drink every single time and she never knows what Katya likes) or to wear a certain outfit (Katya never listens), other nonsense, but this time Katya’s interest is piqued.

**V: See you soon! Kim is bringing a friend, heard she’s cute ;)**

**K: Great! See you**

**V: Don’t think you’re getting out of this one so quickly, promise me you’ll try? Please? For me?**

Katya rolls her eyes, of course Violet would try to guilt-trip her now of all days, when her week has been absolutely exhausting. Of course she’ll try, she isn’t a terrible person. But, guaranteed she won’t like it.

**K: When have I not?**

Violet leaves her on read.

Part of Katya still wants to impress this girl, the idea of getting pussy is maybe a little exciting and if her friends think that she’s cute then she probably is, so why not. Katya has never stopped herself from flirting when appropriate, a little flirting wouldn’t be terrible.

Katya pulls on her black fishnets over her freshly-shaven and moisturized legs, a red tennis skirt, and a red bra and see-through red mesh longsleeve shirt. Why not look hot, she’s been running a lot lately and doing a shit ton of yoga in an attempt to find the meaning of life or something, she isn’t quite sure what, but when she pulls on her black jellies she wonders if all of it will pay off. In the form of sex.

She doubts it, but why not dream? It’s never hurt anyone.

She glances in the mirror in the hall quickly on the way out the door, her hair is poofy from the heat and she can see her crows-feet but she looks hot, she knows she does and maybe she’s a little excited for tonight. It doesn’t matter.

Katya hops in her car to Violet’s, that was one thing that surprised her about moving to LA-- the absolute necessity for a car. She feels almost too grown-up in hers, but maybe that’s a good thing. She isn’t old yet.

Pulling up to Violet’s, she’s a little nervous. She doesn’t get why, but her moods have usually been a bit confusing for her to understand anyway. Maybe she’ll meet this girl and not hit it off with her at all. Who knows, she doesn’t have to worry about it though, she doesn’t think.

Pearl opens the door and she smells like weed, Katya is going to have to ask to buy some from her later but she knows she won’t remember.

Violet is in the kitchen with the dog, Katya never remembers his name nor does she know what kind he is but he’s cute and she kneels down to grab him up immediately, takes him into her arms and carries him with her to go hug Violet.

“You’re the first one here!” Violet is making dinner, the classic salad that they always have ever since the first party, which was thrown together with whatever was in the fridge. They haven’t deviated from that menu in years due to some kind of pointless, perverse loyalty.

Violet hugs her and starts chattering away immediately, Katya is petting the dog though and letting him lick her hand as he squirms, she can hold him in her arms and he weighs next to nothing, he’s so fucking cute.

“Katya...Katya!” Violet snaps her fingers in Katya’s face, she starts in alarm.

“.........What?!?” Katya questions. Violet looks upset, pouty like she gets when simple nonsense doesn’t go her way.

“I _said_ , Kim is bringing her friend Trixie from work, Pearl has met her and says that she’s super cute and super weird and that you’ll love her,” Violet is passionate about this one, Katya notices, but that’s probably just because she’s taking what Pearl said too seriously. “I’m serious, Katya. You’re lonely! Just look at what you’re wearing…wait, did you dress slutty for her? Ohmygod!” 

Katya rolls her eyes, “Hardly,” she groans, she knew that Violet would find her out.

“Oh my god! You so did! Katya this is going to be so fucking fun literally we will leave her a seat right next to yours, but you _have_ to talk to her, okay,” Violet has her back turned, facing the fridge now and Katya says okay because Violet won’t settle for anything less.

```

Katya waits with Violet in the kitchen for the others to arrive. Then she waits with Violet and Ginger in the kitchen. Then Violet, Ginger, and Max. She’s not nervous about it, like she literally doesn’t care.

But still-- are they even coming?

The doorbell rings and Pearl opens it from the front room, saying hello to them and leading them into the kitchen where everyone is taking food into the dining room, setting the table. 

Katya isn’t going to say that sparks flew when she first saw Trixie, or that their eyes locked and the ground moved, or that when they shook hands in greeting Katya’s skin tingled. 

She isn’t going to say it, but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. It just sounds stupid to say out loud.

Trixie has long, wavy blonde hair that flows almost down to her ass which is, by the way, _perfect_ , Katya wants it under her palms so badly. Trixie is wearing a pink pencil skirt with a pink crop top and she has a see-through backpack slung over one shoulder that looks like it’s filled with makeup, candy, and hot pink headphones. 

She has freckles, so many of them that they’re visible through her foundation, and Katya is in awe of her. Her eyebrows are gently curved and her breasts strain against her top as she sets her backpack down on the couch before sitting next to Katya at the table. Katya hasn’t said a word since she introduced herself to Trixie and she thinks that maybe Trixie complimented her on her outfit but she honestly doesn’t know, maybe she was hallucinating it.

Katya passes the salad bowl to Trixie and their fingers brush and Katya is forced abruptly back into reality, Trixie is smiling at her softly and Katya is grinning back now, Trixie has mischievous eyes, Katya likes that. 

Throughout dinner, Trixie keeps looking at Katya, and Katya squirms under her gaze. Katya is almost too self-aware, and she can tell that Trixie is practically undressing her with her eyes but Katya doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do about it, she feels ridiculous.

At some point Violet stands up, already drunk, and lifts her glass.

“I’d just like. Hey! Hey, listen,” everyone is laughing at her. “I’d just like to make a toast. To old friends...and new friends,” she gestures at Trixie who jokingly cheers and raises her fork in the air, “...and to Katya, who’s been rock hard this entire time. Yay Katya!!”

Katya can feel her neck starting to turn red, her blush is creeping up her entire face but Trixie is doing this wonderful shriek-slash-laugh, her head thrown back in mirth and Katya can see the line where her foundation ends under her chin. Katya can’t help but giggle as Trixie laughs, she puts her head in her hands though for a moment until everyone calms down.

It’s broken the tension between them, and when Katya comes out from hiding Trixie is looking at her, taking a sip of wine. She sets her wine glass down and smiles genuinely.

“So what do you do? Kim said you were some kind of teacher?” Trixie’s big blue eyes are so pretty, Katya likes how they reflect the light from the chandelier.

“Yeah I teach middle school French!” Katya is happy for the subject even though it’s a fairly normal conversation topic, she loves to talk about her job and her kids and how well they are doing.

“That seems hard. I mean, I’m not the biggest fan of kids, myself, and I can’t imagine teaching them...especially at such hard ages,” Trixie is leaning in to Katya’s space, she’s speaking seriously and Katya knows that Trixie truly wants to know what her job is like, thinks that it’s interesting. She’s so fucking cute and Katya is a little intimidated but she really, truly likes this girl so far. She especially likes how she’s looking into Katya’s eyes.

“It is! I mean, it really is, and obviously if I wasn’t teaching where I am, it would be a lot harder. My school is extremely liberal and lots of kids that have struggled with schools in the past because they’re different from the typical white hetero kid go there, so it’s really nice to work somewhere where I know that my presence is important, you know. I love French but, like, I love the kids more, and that’s not how I really...expected that it would be?” Trixie nods, she’s eating bites of her salad but focusing on Katya rather than her plate and missing her mouth, making Katya giggle and Trixie smile her beautiful grin. 

“Yeah, it’s just really interesting how originally I just liked the language and I wanted other people to like it and learn it and I had been good with kids so I thought, why not be a teacher? And it was kinda...nerve wracking being trans, and not knowing if I would get a job, and stuff, but...since I have I feel really good about what I’m doing. Like, really good, ‘cause it’s more than just teaching French,” Katya feels a little embarrassed about spilling her heart out for Trixie, they aren’t even on a date but Trixie is turned inward towards her and she’s making eye contact and nodding seriously and Katya is spellbound, fascinated by her and her kooky outfit and dirty humor and pretty smile and Barbie-blonde hair.

“Yeah! That’s so cool, sometimes I think that I should be doing something to like, help gay kids, but sometimes teen boys come in and ask for help on makeup so like that counts, right? If I tell them that I’m a lesbian and that it gets better,” Trixie is laughing, Katya almost spits out her juice at Trixie’s off-color joke.

“True! True, no, Trixie! You know what, I could have been one of those boys. No! Honestly,” Trixie is still giggling and Katya is too, but she wants to get her point across. “Trixie. I’m serious. It’s good that you do that!”

Trixie opens her smile to respond but Pearl and Ginger are getting up from the table, the others making to follow, and Katya realizes that it’s been like an hour, and everyone is done with their food, they’re all making their way into the living room where Pearl is putting on some music. Kim is pouring Max more wine in the kitchen, and it isn’t dark yet but the sun is almost setting outside the edgy square window right above the table. 

Trixie smiles at Katya and gets up, taking her and Katya’s plates into the kitchen to put them in the sink, and Katya follows her. Max and Kim have left and it’s loud in the living room but the noise is muffled somewhat by the half-wall separating it from the kitchen.

Trixie hops up to sit on the counter, and Katya finds herself admiring Trixie’s butt and waist again, and she knows that Trixie is smirking down at her looking.

“So, Katya. Tell me more about yourself,” Trixie is still smirking through her words and Katya likes how she’s looking down on her, it makes her feel small in a good way.

“Hey, enough about me. What about you?” Katya does want to know more. Where does this human Barbie _come_ from? How did she get to be this way-- she’s wonderful and bizarre and Katya wants to absorb her into her brain right through her skull so that she can see her body bent in every which way, see how her lips part when Katya puts her mouth on her.

“Well, I come from Milwaukee, Wisconsin--”

“No _fucking_ way. How are you like this, then?” Katya gives a general gesture at all of Trixie. Trixie giggles and takes another sip of wine.

“Well, I guess I’ve just always liked Barbie. I’m the manager at MAC which means that I’m _Kim’s_ boss, thank you very much, and I sell all of Hollywood’s gay boys their highlighter. And in my free time I play the guitar and sing, sometimes I perform, too,” Katya wonders if Trixie would ever want to sing for her. 

“That’s too cute,” Katya grins widely, kicks her leg up to rest her shoe on the spotless counter. Trixie mock-glowers at her from her perch.

“Hey! I work hard, bitch! Do you _know_ how fucked it is to wear a full face for an eight hour shift?” Trixie screeches, making Katya wheeze and almost fall from her one-legged stance, but Trixie grabs her arm and pulls her in as her leg falls from the counter. They’re close, Katya can feel Trixie’s breath on her eyelids and her nose, and Trixie is holding Katya’s bicep tight.

“You’re kinda ripped,” Trixie whispers, squeezing Katya’s arm. Katya looks up into her eyes through her lashes, smirking as she pulls away, making Trixie’s hand let go in reflex and her eyes fall down along Katya’s chest and legs.

Katya grins as she lowers herself into a slow split on the kitchen floor, Trixie’s mouth falling open slightly as she pauses midway down, pretends to check her nails cheekily, before dropping her pussy right on the floor.

“Yeah, I mean I do yoga everyday,” Katya won’t let Trixie get her that easily, now that Violet has found someone for her and now that they’ve met, Katya wants to tease her, wants to look at her in that pink skirt a little more before she (hopefully) rips it off, wants to watch her breasts bounce as she leaps off the counter to get a glass of water. Katya hopes that she needs it to cool herself down, she hopes that Trixie is wet.

Katya hops up to stand again, and she knows now that she looks good, Trixie wants her. Katya did good by wearing this outfit, she knows that her breasts look good (a perk of paying for them with her own hard-earned cash) in her bra and she knows that her legs are especially muscular lately. Not bad for 32, she thinks, and then she reminds herself to not get too cocky (haha, cock), the night isn’t over yet.

Trixie finishes her water and winks at Katya as she holds out her hand to take, Katya takes it unthinkingly and Trixie stops before they leave the kitchen to join the others.

“Hey, speak me some French?” Trixie is grinning at her.

“Maybe sometime soon,” Katya grins back, now it’s her turn to wink and turn the conversation on it’s side. Trixie fake-pouts and leads Katya out to the empty couch. Max and Pearl are drunk and dancing to one of Pearl’s tracks, and Ginger, Violet, and Kim are all sitting, watching a video from Violet’s phone, probably a fashion show that she designed something for.

But when Trixie and Katya enter the room, they all stop, look up and the music seems louder with the lack of Max and Pearl’s happy laughter, the spotlight is on them and Katya can feel herself blushing again.

“Look at the lovebirds,” Pearl croons, grasping Max’s hands in her own and swinging her around romantically, dipping her with a fake-bravado. Ginger snorts and Kim is smirking at Trixie, Kim has always been quietly evil, Katya knows, and she doesn’t like her knowing look.

Violet is smiling genuinely, though, the dog is sitting on her lap like he always does and she’s petting him absentmindedly, holding her phone that’s still playing the video in her other hand. She’s watching Katya almost serenely, and Katya wants to scream for how she’s always right. She’s so fucking smug, Trixie still hasn’t let go of Katya’s hand even as they sit next to each other on the couch, and Katya isn’t even mad about it.

Trixie only lets go of her hand when Max pulls her up to dance, and soon all of them and the little dog are dancing, laughing so hard it hurts, the lights have turned themselves on and somehow regulated to be fashionably dim because the house is so goddamn edgy, and Katya’s side keeps bumping up against Trixie. Trixie is warm and electric, and Katya wants her to move in with her, wants to make her pancakes in the morning.

Katya would, like, buy fish for a pet if Trixie wanted them, she would brew beer for her, she would quit her job and go live in the mountains with Trixie if Trixie wanted her to. It feels ridiculous but Katya is so taken by her, she feels romantic and she wants to make a life-altering decision, she feels like she’s standing on the edge of a cliff in a prairie dress, the wind is blowing dust all around her and she’s trying to untangle her hair with just her fingers before an important meeting. 

She feels rushed and on the verge, like anything could happen and like she could _make_ anything happen. She’s never felt this way about anyone before, and it’s just not realistic that she will again.

At some point they all end up calming down and sobering up, Katya was always sober but she can get excited over just about anything, and they’re all lying across the furniture, Kim is enthralled in makeup videos on instagram, quietly calling bullshit over how ridiculous they are to Max, and Pearl and Violet are now on the couch, the dog squished between them, their foreheads leaning against each other as the light from their phones glows on their faces.

Trixie is sitting on one of the square white armchairs, and somehow Katya has found herself, jokingly, in her lap. She didn’t mean to stay there, but she’s comfortable now and why not? Trixie’s fingers are resting on Katya’s sharp knee, she’s on her phone too but she’s stroking her thumb over Katya’s fishnets. Katya is watching her unashamedly, she’s looking over her makeup and her pretty fake lashes, how they’re placed perfectly and how her freckles peek out.

Trixie can feel Katya’s eyes on her, and she looks up under her lashes to smile at her. Katya smiles back, it feel _ridiculous_ that Katya barely knows her but she’s here seated on her lap, letting Trixie stroke her leg unconsciously as if they’ve been together for years. Katya _knows_ that it’s ridiculous and probably a bad idea, but she likes Trixie a lot. And she hasn’t had fun in _so_ long, she honestly deserves this, deserves just sex or friends-with-benefits or maybe even a relationship. She hates to admit it, even to herself, but Trixie’s warm, soft lap is enough to allow her the humility to think that Violet was right. Katya needs this, and she _deserves_ it.

```

Eventually, Ginger and Max drive home and Kim is looking at Trixie, who’s still on her phone, arms encircling Katya’s torso, like she wants to leave. So Trixie pushes Katya off gently, and they both stand so  
Trixie can hug Pearl and Violet and thank them for dinner.

Kim is waiting for Trixie to get her backpack and leave at the door. The lights are even dimmer, it seems, and there’s some blue light coming from the kitchen that’s flat against Trixie’s face as she gives Katya a tiny smile, bending down to pick up her backpack from where it fell off of the couch earlier.

After she swings it over one shoulder she takes Katya’s right bicep in her hand and pulls her in fast, kisses her quick on the lips, Katya’s eyes are wide open and Pearl gives a little “Whooooo!” 

Her lips are gone just as quick as they came, and Katya’s jaw is a little wide, as Trixie gives her an over exaggerated wink and taps Katya’s nose with her pointer finger, giggling a little. Katya is frozen as Trixie bounds out the door, Kim on her heels, shouting goodbye to all of them.

Katya didn’t even get her number.

```

Katya feels a little ridiculous and stunted as she goes to find her bag somewhere in the kitchen, Pearl and Violet still sitting in the living room in the blue-yellow light mixture, where Katya tripped serious balls with her lips on Trixie’s.

She finds her bag and resists the urge to collapse on the floor for a second, she doesn’t know how she’s made it this long under these circumstances without needing a cigarette but she’s sure that it had something to do with Trixie’s freckles and the specific curl that rested on her left breast that Katya had been staring at all night.

Katya hurries out the front door and props her butt against the side of her car, lighting up and looking out on the street in the dark California night in front of her.

She takes long, deep drags, relishing in the realization of how much she needed this cigarette an hour ago but couldn’t leave Trixie’s side. Now Trixie is gone and Katya could ask Kim for her number but she also doesn’t know if she wants to give her the satisfaction. She pulls out her phone to text her anyway, and there’s footsteps behind her coming from the house.

Pearl has a tiny baggie with a couple blunts inside, she remembered when Katya didn’t, and she won’t take any money for them “For your trouble,” (Katya feels like this is justified, Pearl understands how shaken she was by Trixie’s presence and Trixie’s kiss). Katya repays her with a cigarette, which she stands and smokes with her, up against her car.

“You didn’t get her number, did you,” Pearl states, a small smile on her lips. Katya exhales right in her face, _for my trouble_ she screams mentally. 

“No, I fucking didn’t, but thanks for reminding me, I was going to text Kim for it before you came out,” Katya unlocks her phone again, and Pearl takes out her own.

“No need,” Pearl pulls up her contact list and copy-pastes Trixie’s number into an empty text, sends it off to Katya, who quickly sets it as _Trixie <3_.

Pearl is laughing at her, but she doesn’t care. “Violet wins again!” Pearl is coughing with laughter, and Katya can’t help but giggle too.

“We all know, you have the best wife in the world, blah blah,” Katya is wheezing though, she loves them, she really does. Where did she get so lucky to have friends that call her on her bullshit on an almost daily basis? It’s wonderful.

They finish their cigarettes and Pearl wraps Katya in a tight hug, she’s much taller than her and she’s warm on all sides. 

“Thanks, Pearl. See you soon,” Katya unlocks her car door and slides into the seat, sets her bag in the passenger seat. She’s suddenly tired, and as she drives home she decides to text Trixie in the morning. She’ll still be there, and Katya likes that. She likes knowing that Trixie likes her and that Trixie wants to see her again. She keeps lifting her hand from the steering wheel and gently touching her red lips, remembering the fleeting press of Trixie’s against them.

```

The next morning, Katya wakes up tangled and sweaty in her sheets, her window is wide open since she was experiencing some kind of hot flash the moment she got home, and the sun is streaming in, right into her eyes.

She groans loudly, turning over and forcefully extricating her legs from the grip of the sheets. It’s 9am, and she hasn’t been up voluntarily this early in years, she purposefully didn’t set her alarm so that she would sleep in today, like she usually does on Sunday. If she’s going to spend the whole day grading, what’s the point in getting up early?

Trying to fall back asleep would be pointless, so she gets up and stumbles to the shower, washing her hair and body quickly, she really can’t stand being wet and letting her extremities prune up. As she’s sitting on the end of her bed naked, legs spread and a towel wrapped around her hair, she finally decides to look at her phone.

She has about fifteen texts from various people, and she unlocks her screen methodically. She opens Messages to see that there, at the top, is a text from Trixie.

Katya’s sleepy eyes boggle, she assumes that Trixie must have gotten her number from Kim. She opens it quickly, reads it once and then over and over, smiling slightly.

**T: Hey! It’s Trixie. So good to finally meet you last night, I had heard so much about you from Kim and it was awesome to finally put a face and body to the name ;). We should totally hang out soon, I would love to take you out for coffee if you’re into that? Let me know!**

Katya is charmed by the block of text, she can tell that Trixie spent time crafting the message to make sure that it gave off the vibe she wanted, and Katya appreciates the winking face. She really appreciates it, and she wants to fuck Trixie asap. 

She has to think carefully about her response. But she also wants it to seem casual and calm.

**K: Hey, I would love to go out for coffee ;) when are you free?**

Trixie starts typing almost immediately, and Katya unwraps her hair from the towel and goes to hang it on the bathroom door, grabs her brush from the top of the dresser and starts to attack her curls as she reads Trixie’s next message.

**T: Are you free today?**

Katya smirks, she knows that neither her nor Trixie has any desire to beat around the bush with this, and she’s glad that they are on the same page. Katya prides herself on being direct, and she’s happy to exercise that skill in getting Trixie out on a coffee date with her.

**K: Yes! I can be ready in an hour? Where would you want to meet?**

**T: Awesome :). I’ll send you the address.**

Trixie sends her the address and Katya is pleased to see that the coffee shop is located close to her apartment, which means that Trixie must live close by. Maybe she can get Trixie to come home with her afterwards.

Katya finishes brushing through her hair, puts half of it up in a banana clip, and does her makeup. She decides to wear a cute patterned dress, she doesn’t know if Trixie will like it but she doesn’t particularly care since it’s one of her favorite dresses, and if Trixie doesn’t like it then whatever-- hopefully she won’t be wearing it for long.

Katya jumps in her car with just enough time to get some gas before pulling into the tiny parking lot attached to the coffee shop. She can see Trixie sitting at a table at the window and waves at her excitedly through the glass. She glances down at her watch when Trixie looks back to her coffee to check that she’s not late. She isn’t, and that means, Katya realizes delightedly, that Trixie was early.

Katya quickly orders an iced coffee at the front and takes it back to Trixie’s table. She pulls her chair almost right next to Trixie, Trixie is smiling up at her with those blue eyes from under her lashes. She isn’t wearing so much makeup today, so those freckles that had made Katya’s eyes unfocus and focus again all night are even darker, more visible.

“Hey,” Katya almost sighs, takes a sip of her coffee and props her chin up with her fist, her elbow resting on the slightly off-balance table with the floral tablecloth.

 _“Bonjour,”_ Trixie jokes, grinning at her, making eye contact, she never stopped doing that and Katya loves it.

Katya giggles at the French, looking around the cute coffee shop. It clearly used to be a house, the ceiling is low and there are floral sheets pinned up over the walls, making it cozy with dim light from lamps with dark red lampshades all around. Trixie has half of a muffin that she’s been eating waiting for Katya, and outside the window the sun has gone away, but the clouds just make the coffee shop even more cozy. Katya wants to take Trixie’s hand.

“How was your night after you left me shook and lonely in the modern home of our mutual friends?” Katya grins, taking a chunk of Trixie’s muffin and popping it into her mouth. It’s banana nut.

“Oh, you know. Pretty good! Except I was...well, horny, and Kim kept teasing me about you on the ride back,” Trixie is giggling, and Katya loves that giggle, loves how sweet and nasty Trixie is at the same time. Trixie’s wearing a yellow sundress today, and the top of it is so low-cut that her white lacy bralette is showing. She has freckles on her breasts and Katya wants to run her lips over the pink stretch marks that stripe the soft flesh.

Trixie can see her looking and she presses her breasts between her arms, pushing her cleavage up and almost out of her yellow dress with the tiny spaghetti straps.

“Same. I mean, I was, you know. Horny. And Pearl was harassing me when all I wanted was a cigarette, but then she gave me your number, so all’s fair in...love and war? In baseball? There’s no crying in baseball. Or something? I guess?” Katya’s confused herself, but Trixie is laughing out loud, other people reading books or newspapers are looking over at them.

“I didn’t know that you smoked,” Trixie says cautiously when she finally calms down, and Katya’s heart sinks a little. She doesn’t want to have to deal with this ever in relationships, it’s part of the reason why she doesn’t really ever _have_ relationships, her addiction issues.

“Yeah. Pretty heavily sometimes, I mean, depending. I’m trying to quit, I mean, I’ve gotta quit. I know that. Is that...is that a deal breaker?” Katya hates how she’s floundering, how she’s nervous after so much positive, quality conversation. Trixie’s fingernails are a baby pink, she’s wearing a thin gold ring on the pointer finger of her right hand and she has a thin gold bracelet on her left, there are tiny freckles all up her fingers, hands, and arms.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Trixie looks honest, her face open and she isn’t hiding, Katya doesn’t know her well but she doesn’t look like she’s lying or trying to make Katya feel better, and Katya’s confidence comes back a little. She smiles quick, grabs Trixie’s hand to squeeze, and she really _does_ need a cigarette, _bad_ , but she can wait, if Trixie is uncomfortable. She’s never tried to compromise herself for someone like this before. And she isn’t sure if she likes it. She’s trying to quit, anyway. She can wait.

Trixie takes a sip of whatever dramatic, sugary coffee concoction that she ordered, and she wrinkles her nose at Katya’s black iced coffee when Katya takes a sip of it and moans quietly in the straw.

Katya loves how quickly they have become comfortable around each other. It was instant, after that one moment of brief panic when they first met on Katya’s end.

They met less than 24 hours ago, but Katya feels like she’s known Trixie for a long time. Not a super long time, but long enough to brush her pinkie up and down along the side of her hand resting on the table. Trixie smiles across at her. For some reason there’s thunder booming outside, it hasn’t rained yet but it might, Katya guesses, and Trixie’s skin looks different out of the dim light of Pearl and Violet’s house. She likes it.

They sip their coffee and talk about everything and nothing, keep talking and talking until Katya checks her phone, sees that it’s 1pm and they’ve been sitting in the coffee shop for hours, and Trixie’s eyes boggle when she tells her the time, but then she laughs that booming screech that Katya loves.

“Hey, do you want to come to my place? I live so close by and I can drive you home later, I have to grade but you can just chill with me, if you want,” Katya feels a little stupid asking but she has to, she wants to spend the day with Trixie, she wants to see Trixie’s face in many different kinds of lighting.

Trixie nods the affirmative, and Katya grins as she scoops up their trash and takes it to the garbage can. Trixie picks up Katya’s bag from the chair, brings it and her own backpack over to the door and hands it to Katya who mumbles her thanks. Their hands brush as Trixie passes the bag to her, and Katya is struck with how domestic it is.

Trixie has warm hands, and Katya likes driving her around, it’s cute seeing Trixie in the passenger seat, buckled in, her trendy backpack sitting on her lap. The windows are open and Trixie’s hair is waving in the wind, her curls are loose and floating over her breasts, she’s looking out of the window at a poodle on the sidewalk that she’s pointing out with a tanned finger to Katya, raising her voice into a high baby-talk as she says hello to the dog. Katya is endlessly charmed by her, and eventually it starts sprinkling rain lightly but they keep the windows open for the block until Katya’s apartment. Katya can feel the rain prickling at her skin, on her left arm as it rests on the door. 

Katya parks and they both hop out of the car, Katya remembering suddenly how much of a fucking mess her apartment is. Trixie is walking up the stairs to the second floor right behind her, and Katya stops on the stairs, turns to face her.

“Trix...my apartment is such a mess right now, like, I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Trixie rolls her eyes and pushes a stray hair off of her face.

“Katya, come on. I’m sure it is a mess but I don’t care, like, I just want to fuck you. I’m not going to be looking at the decor,” Trixie looks exasperated and Katya huffs out a laugh, surprised again by Trixie’s frankness.

Katya really does have to grade but the kids can wait another week.

```

Trixie follows Katya through the door, Katya is still nervous about her seeing the mess, but Trixie immediately gravitates to the couch, pushes the blankets out of the way and sits down.

“I like your windows,” Trixie comments, smiling, looking out the floor-to-ceiling window and door to the balcony. It’s Katya’s favorite part of the apartment, and it’s why she decided to rent it in the first place.

“Thanks! It’s my favorite part of the place,” Katya is hovering, she doesn’t know if she should sit next to Trixie or offer her something to drink or what, but she’s also semi and she knows that Trixie can’t tell because of her dress but Trixie’s butt looks so nice in that sundress, her thick thighs are bare and look so soft, Katya wants to touch them.

Trixie looks over, into Katya’s eyes, and waves her to the couch. “Come here,” she laughs slightly, patting the cushion next to her. Katya sits down gingerly, Trixie lifts her hand to run a finger along Katya’s chin.

“Is your bed comfy?” Trixie breathes, sending the hairs down Katya’s back up against the fabric of the dress, Trixie can surely feel her shiver.

“The couch is pretty nice, like...I sleep- I sleep here sometimes,” Katya can’t focus, Trixie’s hand has moved down her neck now, is on her shoulder, down her arm, now cupping her breast through the layers of dress and bra, and Katya feels overheated, she can hear the rain pattering harder now against the tall windows.

Trixie smiles and nods, traces both hands to Katya’s collar and pops the third button open, rests a hand on her chest and collar bone right above her breasts. Katya wants to touch her, she reaches up to gently pull Trixie’s hair behind her ears, traces her fingerprints along her forehead in a halo, down to her chin, pulls her in an inch closer. Katya can feel her cool breath against her mouth, from Trixie’s nose, and Katya opens her lips slightly. She’s wearing red lipstick and Trixie’s just wearing chapstick, Katya wants to ruin her.

Katya can’t keep up with the slow-moving seduction, she’s never been patient and she pulls Trixie in to kiss her, mashes their lips together in a decidedly unsexy way until Trixie starts kissing back, they find a rhythm and Katya brings a hand down from Trixie’s face and traces the lacy line of her bralette along her heavy breast, reaches behind her as Trixie continues to blindly unbutton the front of Katya’s dress and untie the belt, to start to unbutton the tiny little buttons down the back of the yellow dress.

“I...love, this dress,” Trixie is breathing between kisses and Katya smiles into her mouth.

“I love yours too,” Katya pulls back as she finishes unbuttoning Trixie, pushes the dress down off her shoulders and bunches it down at her soft stomach, so that she’s just wearing the little bralette, her breasts heaving with each heavy breath, she doesn’t have any noticeable tan lines, does that mean that she tans nude? Katya hopes that she gets to find out.

“In French?” Trixie is absent-mindedly circling her own hard right nipple through the thin fabric and Katya smirks and pushes her fingers aside, replaces them with her own.

 _“J’adore ta robe,”_ Katya whispers up against Trixie’s mouth, kisses her as Trixie moans quietly at the French consonants, Katya _knew_ that it would turn her on, she could just tell since the first time that Trixie asked her to speak French that it would make her wet.

Trixie is pushing up against Katya’s body, Katya reaches behind her to pull the bralette up and off, and she pulls of her own dress, her own bra as Trixie twists on the couch to slide off her sundress so that the only thing separating them are their panties, Trixie’s a soft pink lace thong and Katya’s a red lace. It’s a fucked up Valentine’s Day palette. Katya’s dick is rock hard against Trixie’s thigh, she’s rutting against it gently as their nipples rub against each other. Trixie’s pressing sloppy, wet kisses to the side of Katya’s mouth and Katya trails her fingers down to Trixie’s panties, traces the edge of them.

“Please, Katya,” Trixie groans, Katya can smell her, and when she presses her thumb right over her entrance on the lace she can feel how wet she is. Her dick twitches and she pulls Trixie’s panties off quickly, throws them off the edge of the couch and bends further to kiss her belly button, the soft hairs on her stomach below it.

“K- Katya. Please,” Trixie is whining, Katya smiles teeth against soft, thin skin and scooches down the couch further to lick up her once slowly, Trixie lets out a deep sigh above her and tries to grind against her chin. Katya snuffles out a laugh and presses Trixie’s soft hips down into the couch with both hands, then goes down on her properly, tongue circling her clit and pushing inside her, licking up her juices and humming into her, making her vibrate from the inside out.

Trixie is breathing quickly and when Katya looks up at her her eyelashes are fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings, her cheeks are pink and there’s a bead of sweat rolling down her forehead. The rain is heavy against the window.

 _“Mmmmm, belle femme,”_ Katya hums unconsciously into Trixie, and then sticks two fingers inside her, she’s so wet and she moans loudly as Katya explores her, continuing to massage her clit with her tongue, she can feel Trixie tensing up and she can hear her breaths get faster, Katya lets go of her hip and lets her thrust against her face until she cums, with a loud moan and a whisper of Katya’s name.

Katya licks her more slowly through the aftershocks until Trixie whines a little from the stimulation, and Katya is just about to pump herself a few times, she doesn’t need much for release after watching Trixie come apart, but Trixie takes Katya’s hand and pulls her up to sitting on Trixie’s chest, opens her mouth expectantly and Katya is dripping watching her, as Trixie takes her dick in hand and slides it gently between her lips, nods once, looking up at Katya for her to fuck her mouth.

Katya groans loudly and thrusts slowly, Trixie reaching her head up towards Katya with each thrust, taking her in further until she chokes on her a little, then pulling back but allowing Katya to thrust quicker, shallower, and she looks up into Katya’s eyes, giving her permission when Katya whispers her name, and Katya cums in her mouth, spewing nonsense French under her breath, Trixie swallowing it down like a pro.

Katya slides her body down along Trixie’s, kissing her filthy, she can taste herself on Trixie’s tongue and it’s so dirty, Katya is amazed at her. Who is this innocent-looking filthy lesbian Barbie doll that just let Katya fuck her mouth and swallowed her cum without complaint? Katya wants to know everything about her, wants to figure her out.

 _“Ma colombe,”_ Katya whispers into the skin of Trixie’s shoulder, kisses it. She can see her red lipstick stamped on the freckles of Trixie’s breasts and she smiles, lips curling on Trixie’s soft skin.

Trixie sighs into Katya’s frizzy hair, Katya wants to move them to her bed. She gets up, feeling like her bones are creaking, and holds out a hand for Trixie to take. Trixie smiles and takes it, lets Katya pull her up off the couch and lead her, hand-in-hand, to the bedroom. 

They settle down amongst Katya’s sheets, the rain is still pulsing gently against the window. Katya can feel herself falling asleep, and Trixie’s breath has evened out as she rests her head on Katya’s breasts. Katya lets her eyes close, she has a lot of work to do whenever she wakes up, she’s sure that it will be dark by then, but maybe Trixie will stay, and she can make them dinner later in the warm light of her kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Trixie. I love you!” Katya breathes out like a revelation, hands moving to cup her cheeks, pulling her in to kiss her hard, open-mouthed and hot, breathing a deep sigh from her nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! ch 2 is here. hope you enjoy, french definitions at the bottom. katya standing on a chair in front of the class conducting french songs is something that one of my old teachers used to actually do, so if you’re reading this, madame, im sorry. but if you are reading this then i guess you’re even cooler than i thought you were. ch. 3 coming soon!!!

Trixie smells like lavender. Some kind of flower, Katya has never been able to distinguish them or their smells, but she smells like flowers, now that she thinks about it it’s really probably not lavender. But Trixie smells like petals, how they squish and darken when they bend.

There’s some kind of purple smell, that Trixie has. It’s like her skin, and her eyes, the light brown hairs of her brows. It all smells fresh and clean, sometimes like a new book but just the instant that you open it, that light brush of air before you really stick your nose against the page.

Katya has spent about five hours in total (measured by the relative time it takes her to smoke one cigarette multiplied by how many she has smoked) trying to capture Trixie on printer paper with a Pilot G2 pen. She’s tried both 0.7 and 0.5 size, and 0.5 seems to work better, but the words that she’s writing and her clumsy fingers can’t write Trixie down. Not in French and certainly not in English.

It would drive her crazy but it just makes her want to spend more life with Trixie, consume her so as to not forget her. Last night Trixie called her at dusk, asking her to go see a movie, and Katya has no idea what movie they even saw because Trixie held her hand the whole time, even after Katya’s hand got sweaty.

What the fuck.

Katya and Trixie have been dating for about a month, when they woke up together and it was still raining after their first date Trixie had sat Katya down and somehow convinced her to be her girlfriend? Katya doesn’t remember but she does know that she must have tricked Trixie somehow, she has no idea why Trixie likes her so much but she kinda does know, like, her and Trixie are the same, and Katya makes her laugh and Trixie sometimes looks at her through her fake lashes after Katya picks her up from work and kisses her across the car seats.

Katya is standing in the shower letting the water run down her body and push her hair over her eyes, because she’s a little overwhelmed that Trixie is on the other side of the wall, sitting on her bed.

Trixie’s been staying over often, and when she went home after that first night Katya frantically cleaned her apartment. She’s never cleaned her apartment for someone before.

She’s been using the words “never before” a lot lately. 

Trixie has nice thighs, she’s curvy and wonderful and Katya bites her stomach a lot to hear her shriek and gasp. About a week ago, Trixie had picked her up with all of the windows down in her car, and she had real live flowers in her hair, tiny white daisies that she had settled along her forehead. Katya touched one of them because she could. 

Trixie took them out later that night when they kept making Katya sneeze, and threw them into the grass of the park in the dusk and Katya watched them sprinkle the green. Katya could smell the dirt and she could also smell Trixie’s shampoo, a deep mix cold like spring. She can still smell it now, and she’s been dreaming about what Trixie’s freckles look like in the dusty blue air.

Katya rinses out her hair and turns off the water, her skin is a little dry but she’s just going to leave it, because Trixie is in her bedroom and she’ll be sleepy, in the sheets and frustrated with Katya’s early alarm.

Trixie is sitting against one of Katya’s pillows, hair fanned out at her sides, on her phone and she’s wearing her pajamas still, it’s 5:30am and Katya has to get ready for work but she’s never wanted to wreck someone more, Trixie’s nipples are hard, pressing against the thin fabric of her white tanktop and Katya knows that Trixie is wearing a pair of Katya’s pajama shorts, which are tiny on her, riding up her ass.

Katya squeezes her hair in the towel one last time and then shakes it out, lets the cold strands rest on her shoulders. She’s naked, she can feel Trixie’s eyes flickering on her. 

“C’mere and kiss me before you put your lipstick on,” Trixie’s voice is gruff, she’s still on her phone but then she locks it, puts it down on the sheets and smiles over at Katya.

Katya grins and wanders to her, when she reaches the side of the bed Trixie presses her fingers into Katya’s bare hip, squeezing, and Katya bends down to kiss her, chaste and quick.

Trixie pouts when Katya pulls away, slaps her on the ass as she turns to go to the dresser for her clothes.

“I have to get to work!” Katya is laughing as Trixie whines her name from the bed, sinking down below the covers and closing her eyes, yawning. It’s too domestic, too soon and suddenly Katya’s heart is in her throat with it, heavy and pulsing, she busies herself pulling black dress pants out of the drawer and opening her messy closet to grab her blazer.

Trixie starts snoring again as Katya is pulling on her bra and panties, she doesn’t work until 9 and she will leave Katya’s before getting ready since she needs her clothes and makeup, but first she will make more coffee since Katya will take all of it to work, eat Katya’s food, then she’ll make sure that Katya’s door is locked when she goes.

They’ve been dating for a month.

Katya wants to scream as she’s putting on her makeup in the mirror, catching glances at Trixie sleeping on the bed behind her. Trixie is so soft in sleep, her skin against the sheets and her hair over her face.

Somehow she pulls herself away, grabs some coffee from the kitchen and her bag, double-checking to make sure she has everything that she needs, and drags herself out of the door. Trixie has started snoring again and the feeling is bubbling up in Katya’s chest, she can feel it pressing on her heart and in her throat. She locks the door behind her and leans against it in the hallway for a moment, taking deep breaths, eyes closed. She can still hear Trixie’s snores through the door, and her fingers are twitching as she pushes herself away, climbs down the stairs to get to her car.

```

Trixie is especially thrilled at Katya having the summer off. She takes all the vacation that’s available to her (she’s the manager and can do what she wants, she says, and Katya leans in to bite her earlobe softly, despite the sweat dripping off of the both of them), and they spend days together sitting in the sun. Trixie has a strange fascination with feeding Katya grapes off of the stem, holding them above her mouth and watching them crunch between Katya’s white teeth as she pulls them off one by one, as the juice sprays out of the round fruit.

Trixie sometimes tries to do yoga with Katya in the mornings, but fails, falling almost every single time, or laughing as Katya tries to get her to meditate. Katya thinks that she should probably be annoyed by this, but she likes it, Trixie bringing her back to earth when she needs it, Trixie keeping her genuine and joyful, critical.

They’ve been dating for three months and it’s the middle of the summer, the heat is almost unbearable but Katya got used to it years ago, Trixie is trying out a new shampoo that she only uses once a week, some kind of vegetarian Los Angeles lesbian thing, and Katya guesses that she’ll do it as well, because Trixie is begging her to.

Katya decides it must be worth it once Trixie pulls her into the shower with her, bathroom window wide open in the middle of the day, birds chirping loudly in the tree outside, and washes Katya’s hair gently, pulling through the frizzy knots and massaging her scalp, then squatting slowly down Katya’s tan body to wrap her strong fingers around Katya’s dick, taking it into her mouth. When Katya cums she thinks of the people on the street that can hear her yell, can hear Trixie pulling her apart piece-by-piece.

Every single time Trixie makes her cum, and sometimes when she picks Trixie up from work and Trixie walks to her car slowly, tired but happy to see her, a tiny smile on her lips as Katya waves excitedly out the window, she can feel it, and when she’s in Trixie’s arms and she smells so good she can feel it then. That ache all along her torso, up her esophagus and sometimes pulsing through her veins and the tips of her fingers.

One night in hot, hot August when Katya is sitting at the kitchen table in her apartment, painstakingly writing out future lesson plans on her overheated laptop, nothing but boxers and a flimsy tanktop on, Trixie knocks on the door, blue raspberry slushies for both of them and two packs of cigarettes in hand, a wry smile on her face. 

Katya takes her gifts and wraps herself around Trixie, smiling hard, letting Trixie lift her thighs around her waist, carrying her off to the bedroom in the yellow light of the lamp. Katya’s dick is rubbing against Trixie’s high waisted denim shorts and the friction is _so good_ , half painful as Trixie grinds against her fully clothed, takes Katya’s slushie out of her hand and places the cigarettes on the bedside table, holding the straw up to her mouth as she straddles her, Katya sipping the sugar as Trixie pulls off her t-shirt, her shorts and underwear and bra, pulling down Katya’s boxers and slipping a condom on, sitting down on her dick and riding her slowly.

Katya is whining desperately for her to speed up but she won’t, Trixie is still holding the slushie up to Katya’s lips and pinching Katya’s nipple as Katya sucks it down, she can feel the cold seeping through her as Trixie grips her hot and wet and tight. They cum at the same time, Katya rubbing Trixie’s clit slowly with every bounce, and when she cums Trixie twitches, gasps, and spills the slushie all over Katya’s chest.

```

The feeling in her heart hasn’t left Katya six months in.

Trixie’s new thing is vintage shopping, she’s taken Katya to three separate vintage stores in the past five days, and she gets some kind of perverse enjoyment out of piling clothes into Katya’s hands for her to try on and then pushing her into the dressing room, clapping and laughing as she comes out to model.

Sometimes the clothes are actually cute and sometimes they’re completely disgusting but Katya finds that she really doesn’t mind, she ends up wheezing along with Trixie half of the time, anyways.

Trixie is buying a lot of vintage lingerie, though, and Katya is frustrated by it, especially on her lunch breaks on days Trixie is off work, when she sends Katya tasteful selfies in front of her full-length mirror or less-than-tasteful selfies in her bed. Katya can’t stand it, she spends the rest of the day frustrated at herself and loses track of her lectures.

But all in all, classes are also going well for her. They’re going _better_ , actually, since Katya is finding herself to have more energy (she’s definitely sleeping more since Trixie has figured out that if she baits Katya with the promise of pretty lingerie and handcuffs she will get her grading done faster, come to bed earlier, then pass out completely spent with Trixie next to her, her cum splattered across Trixie’s chest). 

Katya is teaching each class a French song this unit, making them sing along as she stands on a chair in heels in front of the class (sometimes she takes the heels off, she isn’t always that reckless), conducting them and singing loudly. The kids love it or they hate it, but either way their pronunciation skills have increased and Katya is very pleased with the results.

Katya does feel guilty to pick favorites, but she has them, and one day one of her favorite students asks her if she’s okay at lunch. Katya looks at her questioningly, and she replies that Katya’s seemed happier, or more awake, or something, and Katya knows that her face and neck are bright red, she mumbles something about nothing having changed.

A lot has changed.

```

Katya is going grocery shopping with Violet, and when Violet picks her up from her apartment she has a knowing smirk on her face. Katya has noticed her smug attitude regarding her and Trixie, it’s only gotten more apparent as they’ve gotten exponentially more domestic at each Saturday dinner. Trixie has quickly become a permanent fixture in the group.

“Shut up,” Katya grumbles as she hops in the front seat. She’s already sweating in her jellies, it’s a hot September day.

“I haven’t said a word,” Violet is trying not to smile. Katya is extremely sunburnt, Trixie had pulled her along on a picnic on Sunday and somehow forgotten the sunscreen (Katya is sure that it was on purpose since Trixie had pulled out a new bottle of aloe to rub all over Katya that very night), and she gingerly puts on her seatbelt.

“You were thinking it, and I don’t need it, bitch,” Katya is laughing, Violet snorting at the wheel. Somehow, dating Trixie has led to Katya spending more and more time with her friends, rather than less, since Trixie brings Katya out of her apartment a lot more, and her and Kim plan events all the time. A couple weeks ago they had all gone to the zoo together, which sounds ridiculous but was actually really fucking fun.

Violet drives them to the grocery store where soon enough Katya is pushing the cart with one leg, half-perched on it and dictating the food Violet should buy, pointing at the shelves.

“Honestly, Kat...we don’t need this much,” Violet is planning Saturday’s dinner, Trixie had vocalized many a time about how much she despised having the same exact meal every Saturday night, and they had collectively decided to make a new dish each dinner, much to Violet’s discomfort.

“We do! We do, and I _know_ that you’re gonna buy it, put it in,” Katya giggles, Violet clunking the giant jar of pickles into the already half-full cart.

“Okay, then you have to tell me about Trixie,” Katya makes a face, scrunching her nose. She knew this would come up since the drive, and she kinda owes it to Violet to tell her everything. Well, almost everything.

“It’s, it’s good. It’s really good. I- I mean, I really like her. A lot. Yeah, so,” Katya feels awkward, she has no idea how to put her feelings for Trixie into words. They haven’t been dating long and Katya also feels weird that she feels so strongly about her. She shouldn’t, but she does. Maybe she should. She has no idea, she’s never had a real relationship like this one.

Violet is walking in front of the cart but she turns and smiles gently at Katya. Katya knows that her cheeks are bright red. From the sunburn, yeah, but she’s also blushing.

“You really like her. Like you really, really do, bitch,” Katya casts her eyes down at the food in the cart, fixating on the bag of kale.

“Well, yeah,” Katya smiles at the kale, it looks so fresh, it’ll be delicious at dinner.

“Kat. Look at me,” Violet is smirking, she can hear it in her voice.

Katya looks up. “Yeah, Violet. I like her alot. I’m in love with her, okay!” Katya can hear her voice almost echo down the tampon aisle where Violet has led them, and a woman has whipped her head around to gape at them, Violet pulling the cart from the front as Katya stands with both feet on the bar.

Violet bursts into laughter, throwing her head back and grabbing her tampons, pulls Katya to the checkout and out of the store. 

Katya keeps her mouth shut the entire time.

She knew, she knew that she was in love with Trixie a long time ago. And nothing should change now that she’s admitted it to herself (and Violet (and that random woman)), and it doesn’t feel like anything’s changed. She can just feel that warm inside of her, up and down between her breasts and in her bellybutton, where Trixie will lay her head when Katya is reading a book above her and watch the news, on Katya’s couch on early weeknights. 

Violet lets her sit quietly in the passenger seat for most of the way back to Katya’s apartment, but when they’re a few blocks away she turns to face her at a red light.

“Are you gonna tell her?” Violet has pushed her chic cat-eye sunglasses down her nose, her eyebrows raised.

Katya sighs a little and covers her face with her hands. It’s a sunny day, the wind is blowing her hair around and she feels light, open inside and she’s going to tell her. She will.

“Yeah,” Katya whispers into her hands, then looks up to Violet.

“Good,” Violet smiles. “Just don’t leave it too late. It’s okay to be the first one, I made that mistake with Pearl,” Violet has her eyes back on the road, her sunglasses pushed up so Katya can’t really discern her emotions, but she knows that she should take this advice seriously.

What else can she do, she has no other experience and none of her other friends are fucking married, plus Violet and Pearl are perfect, their relationship is contemporary and healthy and they love each other and it _shows_. 

Violet drops Katya off in front of her building with a kiss on the cheek and a reminder to talk to Trixie, and Katya lugs her bags up the stairs.

She puts the groceries away slowly in the humidity of her apartment, after forcing a heavy window open. Then she goes to slump on the couch, staring out of the window into the street, thinking of Trixie and love and how Trixie is at work right now, helping teens and moms look nice for their events and giving them words of encouragement, smiling, and Katya’s heart is still full, she doesn’t know if it’ll ever be empty.

```

Trixie comes to Katya’s right after work like they had planned, Katya has made sandwiches and lemonade for dinner and she can hear Trixie knocking on her door from the kitchen. Suddenly she’s overcome with how she’s going to see Trixie in a matter of seconds, bouncing over to the door and peering out of the peephole to check.

Her hair is a little flat and she looks tired, but so, indescribably beautiful.

Katya throws the door open with a “Trixie!” and pulls her tight against her. Trixie huffs out a tired laugh, unsmiling, as Katya squeezes her around the shoulders.

“What’s this about?” Trixie mumbles a little into Katya’s hair, Katya still hasn’t let go and Trixie is rubbing her back unconsciously. This is probably a bad time, Trixie always wants to take off her work clothes and makeup _immediately_ after coming home, and standing in the hall holding Katya is probably driving her insane.

“Trixie!” Katya pulls back and looks her in the eyes. Trixie’s eyes are exhausted and she’s _right there_ , and Katya loves her. Trixie scrunches her brow like _get on with it!_.

“Trixie. I love you!” Katya breathes out like a revelation, hands moving to cup her cheeks, pulling her in to kiss her hard, open-mouthed and hot, breathing a deep sigh from her nose.

Trixie’s eyes are half-closed, sleepy, and she’s smiling into the kiss, pulling Katya back and tracing her thumb along her eyebrow. The door is still half-open behind her.

“I love you too,” Trixie looks winded, like Katya knocked all of the air out of her. She kisses Katya quick and wet. Katya whimpers into her mouth and reaches around behind her to slam the door shut, locking it blindly and dragging Trixie into the kitchen, pushing her up against the counter. She drops to her knees whispering _I love you I love you I love you I love you Je t’aime_ over and over, breathing it against Trixie’s bare stomach and then her bare thighs and then inside of her, flowing inside and out and Katya is choking on Trixie, physically and in her heart, Trixie is saying it back over and over surrounding her with her soft thighs and soft stomach and fingers in her hair.

```

Katya is 33 years old and she feels like she’s 15.

Today is their one-year anniversary and Trixie has half moved in, when Katya goes over to Trixie’s it looks like half of her stuff really is missing, Trixie’s apartment was never really nice or big or lived-in, since she had only just moved in when they had started dating.

Katya is going to ask her to move in for real, Trixie has a key and she’s known the entire time they’ve been dating that it’s only a matter of time before she’s spending forever with Trixie, and she’s deciding to make forever Now, thank you very much. She’s ready, and Trixie has had a long week at work so they’ve rarely seen each other, so Katya has been clearing space for Trixie’s things in her apartment, and she’s bought a huge print of Barbie that’s now hanging in her living room amongst all of her own paintings and drawings that had lain on the floor since she’d moved in like four years ago.

She’s hung them up, rearranged the couch and the TV, and deep cleaned every nook and cranny (is that a vagina metaphor?), and she knows that Trixie will especially like the print and the new pink shower curtain.

Trixie is supposed to come over in fifteen minutes and Katya is sitting on the couch staring at the wall, at her watch, at the wall again. She’s all pretty for Trixie, she’s going to take her out to dinner.

Trixie lets herself in a few minutes early, making Katya’s heart drop to her feet and bounce right back up to her throat, trying to burst out from her teeth.

Trixie looks so nice, she had gotten off of work early to get ready for their date, and she’s wearing a navy blue patterned dress, her hair is huge and Katya gets to watch it bounce as she goes to the kitchen to put all of her bags down, she has a pink floral pattern duffel bag that has her makeup and pajamas in it that she’ll bring to Katya’s to stay over, and sometimes when Katya is at Trixie’s she sees it sitting, still full, on her bedroom floor.

“Hey!” Trixie calls from the kitchen, Katya smiles as she walks in and twirls her skirt a little. The dress is strapless and her breasts are pushed up deliciously, a delicate necklace resting between them. She stops twirling and looks up wide-eyed at the wall. “Oh my god!”

 _“Bonsoir, mademoiselle,”_ Katya gets up from the couch to take Trixie’s hands. Trixie’s skin is warm like it always is.

“Katya, shut up! Barbie? This is so cute,” Trixie walks over to the couch to admire it.

“I found it at the thrift store,” Katya is trying to contain her delight at Trixie loving it, she knew that she would, but still.

“Where are we going? What are we doing?” Trixie turns to ask when she’s done admiring the print and all of Katya’s newly-hung art. Trixie has been impatiently asking Katya every day for the past week where they are going for dinner, and Katya has been fielding those questions expertly. Trixie won’t manipulate her into confession this time.

“Don’t worry about it,” Katya grins wide and bounces in place, wiggling her eyebrows delightedly at Trixie as she pouts.

Katya leads Trixie to the door by the hand, Trixie’s curls bouncing behind them like a slinky, Trixie looks like some kind of dirty, slutty, angelic doll, for real, she’s wearing pink cowgirl boots. 

Moments later they’re at Trixie’s favorite restaurant (cliché and Katya can’t believe Trixie didn’t guess that they were going there earlier, and she was still surprised when Katya pulled into the parking lot) 

Trixie’s eyes are wide as she sits across the tiny wood table from Katya, she’s looking around at the empty restaurant and the big candles on the tables around them, how the lights are dimmer than usual and her veggie burger comes out without her having to order it.

“You fucking bitch,” Trixie is scoffing, grinning at Katya with cute teeth, her eyes are mischievous and Katya likes that she looks like she knows that she deserves this treatment, Trixie is a fucking monster and Katya loves it. “I can’t-- well, I _can_ believe that you did this for me, but really, like, thank you,” Trixie is looking right into Katya’s eyes.

The orange glow from the candles is framing her face from both sides, making her eyelashes give off little shadows across her cheeks and her forehead. Her hair is so big today, bright orange and shiny, that fancy shampoo is working because Katya’s hair is less frizzy and Trixie’s hair has blown up to full Dolly Parton circumference naturally, Katya has spent hours running her fingers through it while Trixie nods off in her lap.

When Trixie is half-done with her burger and Katya is almost done with her salad, she pulls out the card from her bag. It’s a card but it’s thick, wide and heavy, there’s clearly something inside and Katya’s hands shake as she passes it over to Trixie.

Trixie takes it and pulls a red-wrapped box out of her own bag, passes it to Katya, who takes it without looking at it and sets it next to her plate.

“You first,” she prompts Trixie, who she knows will never pass up the opportunity to open a gift. Trixie rolls her eyes, making a show of it (Katya loves her) and rips off the flap of the envelope with a sparkling gold nail.

Inside is every piece of poetry Katya has ever tried to write about her, from the moment Trixie left her apartment that first rainy Sunday to the hour before she placed the sheets of paper, scraps of paper into the envelope. They’re tied together with a thin pink ribbon Katya found in her box of art shit, and Katya made sure to stamp a red kiss on the inside of the card where she wrote her little anniversary message to Trixie.

_Trixie: One year! Who would have thought! Here we are (hope you are enjoying your date) and I wanted to just let you know that I love you. I don’t have space on this card or even with words as sound in the air around us to say how much or in what ways, but here is all the poetry I have written about you, stacked in order from that first day to the day I sealed this letter. I hope you like it, because to me it’s pretty inaccurate in capturing you. I wanted you to have it anyways. Okay, now I have a question to ask you…_

Trixie looks up to Katya and Katya sucks a breath in.

“Hey, Trixie. Do you wanna come live with me? I know my place smells like cigarettes but I have those windows and I just cleaned it for you, um, and you like the print?” Katya rambles, she’s nervous, on the edge of the cliff.

Trixie is just sitting, poems next to her plate, arms crossed, she’s smiling softly.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m basically already living at your place, babe,” Trixie’s eyes are sparkling in the candlelight. Katya’s mouth spreads into a wide grin.

“Well, I did clean it for you,” Katya laughs. She feels like the weight of the world has been literally lifted off of her shoulders, she can feel her muscles unclench and the laughter just keeps coming out of her, free and unbothered. Trixie’s fingers are tight in hers.

Trixie gives Katya an intricately beaded bag, flowers and patterns across it shining, and some heavy golden vintage earrings with tiny red, green, and purple gems inlaid. Katya puts them on immediately, Trixie has some kind of deep understanding of her and who she is, the things she loves, and Katya is more reassured of their love than she’s ever been.

```

Katya wakes up two months later with a massive headache. She’s been working nonstop for finals, preparing exams and grading papers, her students are getting restless since it’s basically summer and everyone wants to go home or go outside or open the windows or watch a movie.

She’s slowly losing it, and Trixie is moving all of her stuff into Katya’s apartment so there are boxes everywhere and Trixie has been squinting at Katya if she so much as puts an unlit cigarette in her mouth indoors, and Katya should have really thought about that before she asked Trixie to move in with her right at the end of the school year.

She likes Trixie here, though, likes waking up with her and falling asleep with her and sometimes falling asleep without her but feeling her come in late, Katya hazy and eyes barely open to see Trixie’s outline climbing into the bed, putting her arms around her.

Thank god it’s Saturday, though, she can hear Trixie puttering around in the kitchen and something smells delicious. Katya can tell that her being stressed out has taken it’s toll on Trixie, she’s been quieter, trying to stay out of the way as Katya grades at the kitchen table or out on the balcony. Katya feels so bad, there’s a rock in her gut about it and she hates it more than she’s ever hated anything.

Trixie yelps in the kitchen and there’s a crash, she can hear a muffled string of curses and she stretches her arms and legs, hops out of bed and pulls on a shirt, makes her way into the kitchen.

“You okay, _colombe_?” Katya rubs her eyes and takes in the scene in front of her, Trixie is sweeping up a broken mug but behind her there’s omelettes on the stove, a new jug of peach juice and coffee is brewing. Katya smiles and bends down to pick up some shards of porcelain. Trixie huffs and dumps the contents of the dustpan in the trash.

“Sorry for breaking your mug,” Trixie doesn’t sound nervous, which Katya is glad for, she’s been worried that Trixie is getting scared of her. She wouldn’t be able to bear it.

“It’s okay, so long as it didn’t cut you, why don’t you go put the stuff on the table and I’ll do another sweep. Plus, it’s your mug too, now,” Katya takes the broom and dustpan from Trixie and goes over the tile once again, making sure that no sharp pieces are left behind.

Trixie carries the omelettes to the table and turns on some quiet music on the stereo, one of the old CD’s that she had brought over in a bent box that clearly hadn’t been opened since Trixie moved to LA. Katya’s heart starts beating a little faster at the thought of how Trixie is settling down with her.

Once Katya has cleaned the floor, she grabs a new mug and fills it with coffee, brings another one for Trixie and grabs the peach juice as well. Trixie is already eating her omelette, Katya sits across from her and pours cream into her coffee for her.

“Hey,” Trixie smiles, she’s wearing one of her pink nightgowns.

“Hi, good morning,” Katya grins at her, then lets her smile drop. “Trix, I’m sorry. I know that I’ve been treating you like shit, lately, or I’ve been. Um. Not so nice, and I am so sorry for that, you remember last year at the end of the year, it really sucked but now since you’re moving in I know that it’s worse,” Katya is working herself up, there are tears in her eyes and Trixie’s eyes widen, she drops her fork as one of Katya’s tears falls down her cheek to wipe it away with her thumb.

“Katya, no! No, oh my god. Well you have been a bitch,” Trixie and Katya both laugh at that, Katya’s watery. “You have been a bitch, but I love you! And I get it, I know why you’re upset. You work so fucking hard, and I’m so proud of you.”

Katya is crying harder now for some reason, she’s so _tired_ , and this always happens in the last month of school but she’s usually alone, back when her and Trixie had first started dating she woke up from crying herself to sleep with three missed calls from Trixie who had been waiting for her at the park which had set her off crying again, Trixie with her pink skirt and pink sunglasses waiting late into the night, worrying about her, feeling betrayed and abandoned.

Katya had called her sobbing, apologetic and Trixie had sped over, taken her into her arms and rocked her back and forth, brushing her fingers through her hair telling her _it’s okay, I forgive you, I promise_ and then, when she had calmed down, wrapping fingers around her dick and whispering sweet nothings into her ear as she brought her off.

The tears are flowing from Katya’s eyes in steady streams, she feels like she’s drowning in them. She’s put her head in her hands and she can feel Trixie coming up behind her, can feel her arms wrapping around her, picking her up and leading her to the couch, pressing her to lie down. Trixie is all around her and far from feeling restricted Katya feels safe, comforted, which is new. 

She can feel Trixie’s skin on hers and her warmth and somehow she’ll have to grade 50 more essays by Monday morning, she’s feeling them heavy in the back of her mind, but she slowly regains normalcy to Trixie’s chest. 

“I’m sorry,” Katya whispers into Trixie’s breasts, which are soft and braless in her nightgown.

Trixie huffs a laugh and pulls back, puts both hands steady on Katya’s shoulders. “Katya, it’s okay, I’m not expecting you to be perfect all the time, I promise,” Trixie is smiling a little, her blue eyes are kind and wide and earnest. Katya feels warm for the first time in days, she didn’t know how much her own stress would affect both her _and_ Trixie, and she’s so lucky that Trixie understands and wants to be there for her. She’s never really had that before. Everyone else has always been a little too busy.

They lay there in silence for a few moments, then go back to eat their now cold omelettes and pour new, hot coffee. Trixie boops Katya on the nose twice during their conversation and it makes Katya crazy but she knows that she really does like it, deep down.

Last night Trixie had come home late again, for some reason the store was super busy and Kim had called her at like 8pm asking if she could please come help out, and Katya had fallen asleep on the couch, now she remembers. She remembers Trixie cupping her cheek and whispering _time to go to bed, Kat_ , breath cool on her face, fingers under Katya’s arm to lift her from the couch.

Trixie had walked her to their bedroom slowly, gently, Katya was half-asleep and she knew that she wouldn’t remember this in the morning, Trixie’s gentle touch and kind hands, even though they hadn’t spoken all day, Katya chain smoking on the balcony _again_ , grunting over essays and worksheets, Trixie sitting inside, reading in silence. 

Trixie had let Katya down onto the bed, pulled off her denim shorts and underwear, kissing her belly, pulled off her t-shirt and unhooked her bra. Katya had sighed when Trixie pulled up the thin sheet to cover her body, left her side to pull off her work clothes and wipe off her makeup, crawled into bed with Katya in an old, faded band tee.

Trixie had kissed the top of Katya’s head and whispered _goodnight, I love you_ into Katya’s hair, she thought Katya was asleep and she was, a little bit, but now sitting at the kitchen table with her Katya remembers.

“I love you,” Katya’s interrupting Trixie’s story about a kid that came in asking about products then proceeded to grill Trixie on which ones were the best, which were the cheapest, all night long. Trixie trails off at Katya’s declaration, smiles.

“I love you too,” Trixie says without skipping a beat, then gets back to her story, and Katya listens this time.

```

It’s been two whole years, Katya feels older and Trixie looks no different. They’re looking at houses, Trixie wants a garden and a yard, Katya wants space and an office. Katya wants to decorate it, Trixie is (probably rightfully) nervous about that.

Katya wants to marry Trixie.

She doesn’t think that she’ll ever say it out loud. But she knows that Trixie wants it, she knows that Trixie likes the idea and that Katya has always been the one that was unsure. But now, just a few weeks ago Trixie had leaned against wall of the shower and pushed Katya down _hard_ to her knees, grabbed her tight by the hair and held her in place to eat her out. Katya was moaning into her, she could hardly breathe and the water was pounding her eyelashes, her hair was sticking to her cheeks and down Trixie’s thighs.

Trixie was moaning so loudly above her, and Katya was leaking against her own stomach, her dick aching with how Trixie was pulling her wet hair.

Trixie started to grind against Katya’s nose and mouth, Katya still massaging her clit with her tongue, Trixie had whispered _don’t you dare cum_ , breaking off into a long moan as she came, twitching between Katya’s angular body and the tile wall. Katya didn’t cum.

When Trixie had come down, she had pulled Katya out of the shower, dried her off with the towel quickly, took her by the elbow into the bedroom and sat on the bed, bending Katya over her lap. Katya had groaned in excitement as Trixie had scraped her blunt nails across Katya’s bare ass, then began to spank her until Katya came from humping Trixie’s thigh and Trixie’s hand hard on her ass cheeks.

Trixie had pulled her up, kissed her long and gentle, gathered her sharp limbs in her own smooth ones, and they had both fallen asleep, Trixie’s arms protectively around her.

As Katya had drifted off, she thought fleetingly, _I’m going to marry her_ , and she’s thought about it every single day since.

Katya wakes up to the lights off, empty silence. Trixie must be out, it’s almost noon. After Katya grabs some yogurt from the fridge Trixie comes in the door, she smells like rain and her hair is wet, her lipstick is especially hot pink.

“Hey,” Trixie pulls off her pink raincoat, hangs it on the coat rack to dry. 

_“Salut,”_ Katya mumbles through a mouthful of yogurt. “Where were you?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Trixie is smirking, she’s still wearing her sunglasses with the pink lenses (it’s raining, she’ll do anything for the look). Katya rolls her eyes, she knows she won’t get it out of her, but eventually Trixie will tell her, and that’s all that matters.

“Okay,” Katya throws the empty container in the trash, kisses Trixie on her damp cheek, goes to shower and get ready for the day.

```

When they leave to go to Violet & Pearl’s that evening, the sun has come out and Trixie is still wearing her sunglasses, her hair has dried wonky and there’s a bump on the right side of her part. She had stood in front of the mirror for fifteen minutes trying to fix it but had given up when Katya had wrestled the comb out of her hands and kissed her hard.

Trixie is driving, Katya likes to see her at the wheel, especially when she’s in a vintage dress. Right now she looks like a ‘60s housewife Barbie, wide hips and tiny waist and little pink silk scarf wrapped twice tight around her neck.

Katya is smoking out of the window, and for some reason Trixie had convinced her to dress up for the occasion, so she’s wearing a floor-length layered dress with multiple patterns and fringed flaps. Trixie had cringed the first time Katya had pulled it out of the closet, but now she loves it, Katya always wins.

“I can’t wait to see that dog,” Katya talks around her cigarette, Trixie huffs a laugh.

“You know ‘that dog’ has a name, right?” Trixie looks over to her at the red light, bemused.

“To me, he is ‘dog,’” Katya over-exaggerates a French accent, sending Trixie into peals of laughter, Katya pokes her in the cheek and puts out her cigarette as they pull up to the house.

Pearl greets them at the door like always, Katya has a sudden rushing appreciation for her and Violet, their support and love and experience, their steady existence.

“Heyyyyy,” Pearl is high off her ass, Katya pushes past her without much trouble, leaving her with Trixie in the living room, goes off to find Violet.

“Vi, we’re here!” Katya yells into the kitchen, the little dog comes running out to greet her. She picks him up, careful of her dress, and goes to the kitchen. She hugs Violet as she’s tossing the salad, and pulls off her mary janes at the back door, throwing them to the ground haphazardly.

“You look pretty, what’s the occasion?” Vi isn’t even looking at her, but Katya appreciates the sentiment.

“I have no clue, Trixie wanted me to dress up for some reason. She looks beautiful, wait ‘till you see her,” Katya is petting the dog, she’s lowered herself onto the floor and he’s sitting in her lap, trying to lick her face.

“Of course,” Violet turns to her to give her a smile, lugs the massive salad bowl to the table.

Kim, Ginger, and Max have all arrived in the time Katya was in the kitchen, and they all settle around the table. Trixie is next to her at her usual spot, ever since the first time they had met, and every Saturday Katya remembers that night with extreme clarity. How their hands touched and they changed, looking at each other.

Ginger is going on and on about her new office job, Pearl calling bullshit at almost every sentence, Ginger wants to fuck her boss or something, whatever it is Katya’s sure that it’s messy and that she’s going to regret it.

Pearl brings out dessert eventually, they don’t usually have dessert but tonight Max made a fruit pie that they all take a slice of and head to the living room. Katya is forever paranoid that she’ll drop food on the clean, modern furniture, and now she also has to worry about her nice dress, too.

Trixie sits next to her, close and warm on the couch, and everyone is chatting quietly as they eat. Katya has coffee and she’s content, Trixie’s body there and her friends around and the dog is sitting at her feet hoping for her to give him some of her pie. She’s seriously considering it.

“Hey,” Trixie calls out, a little louder than everyone else’s muttering, and they all turn to look at her. She looks nervous, and Katya sets down her plate on the coffee table and takes her right hand in both of her own by reflex.

“Hey, I just wanted to say something to you all,” Trixie gulps, and Violet is smirking again, Katya has no clue what the fuck is going on and suddenly she’s nervous too.

“It’s been like, two years almost since Kim told me that I had to come to dinner with her at Pearl’s house because there was a hot girl that I would like there, and, um. I just wanted to say, that, um. Well, I’m so fucking thankful and excited that I get to spend the rest of my life with you all, and,” she turns to Katya, whose heart is beating so, so fast. “And especially you.”

Trixie is crying, Katya realizes, Katya starts crying too, she doesn’t know why, maybe she does? The room is so fucking quiet and Katya’s chest is collapsing.

“Katya, um,” Trixie’s words are wobbly but she’s smiling, she’s turned to face Katya and her hands are on Katya’s knees. Katya unclenches her shaking fists to slot her fingers between Trixie’s and squeeze.

“I love you so much, and. And I’m so lucky that you love me too, and I don’t know, what I’d do without you. Because you’re there when I wake up, and when I fall asleep, and you’re strong and so. So beautiful,” There are tears falling and tracking her mascara down her cheeks, Katya’s detached her right hand from Trixie’s and she’s wiping each tear as it falls, so it doesn’t streak her foundation. Katya is crying too but she’s letting the tears fall freely.

“I love you, and, um,” Trixie takes a deep, shuddering breath and centers herself, reaches into her purse which Katya realizes she’s been carrying around with her all night, pulls out a deep red velvet box and opens it, inside there’s a simple, thin gold band. Katya is shaking, her hands are shaking, she can’t think. The blood is rushing in her ears, thumping hard.

“Will you marry me?” Katya collapses into her, their bodies touching and her hands framing Trixie’s face, fingers in her hair.

“ _Yes_ , you fucking bitch,” Katya breathes and it’s loud in the room, her ears pop, she’s kissing Trixie so hard and Trixie’s hands are on her waist, Trixie’s sliding the ring onto her finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Je t’aime: I love you  
> Bonsoir, mademoiselle: Good evening, miss  
> Colombe: dove  
> Salut: hey


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They eat and talk for hours, Katya orders coffee at the end of the night with dessert and Trixie eyes her, Katya smirks back while sipping it. Katya’s going to be up all night, she doesn’t care. She wants to sit in the blue dark with Trixie like it’s a Lana song, with the window open and the TV on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is!! ch 3! thank you all so much for all of the love, and an ultra-special thanks to lale and matilda for cheering me on as always & listening to my rambling<3! i love this story and im so happy that i was able to pull out all three chapters from my mind, AND that i wrote most of them before i posted lol. this is the ultimate feel-good chapter in a feel-good fic, a shorter chapter, essentially an epilogue. as usual, definitions at the end. ft. honeymoon! pink paint! and dicksucking. hope you enjoy <3 tumblr: fleursverts

For their honeymoon Katya takes Trixie to Italy, in the summer. 

They rent a tiny cottage for the first half of the trip, Trixie had somehow wrangled a month off from work and Katya had found the location, so after their tiny wedding in the park where Trixie threw the flowers from her hair they flew there.

Katya loves the rolling hills, the sun is orange and the sky is pink-tinged blue, the colors seem off, more saturated. The greens are very green and the blues aren’t the same as they are in California, and Trixie’s skin is another color that Katya gets to memorize.

Trixie likes the embroidered white sheets on the big bed in the tiny cottage, the bed fills up the bedroom almost completely and they have to leave their suitcases in the hall. Trixie spends the first morning lying on the bed in the heat with the wide window open, Katya naked next to her, hair tangled together and hearts beating slowly. Katya keeps rubbing their rings together.

Katya takes walks with her down the dirt road leading from the cottage, in the sun, and into the town, the buildings brown and filled with people. Katya likes the anonymity, likes to buy Trixie sugary treats and feed them to her outside of cafés. 

“I love you,” Trixie says it so honestly, and concrete. They both shower in the mornings and let their hair air-dry on the porch in the back, overlooking vineyards and sometimes cows. Katya eats fruit and drinks coffee for breakfast every day and does yoga in the warm grass.

Trixie had brought her polaroid with her as well as her guitar and tiny leather notebook to write songs, and she spends afternoons sitting in the living room with the door open, the windows open, plinking away at it and humming melodies to herself, Katya sprawled in underwear across from her on the couch, eyes half closed. 

Trixie lets Katya use the camera and they find more cartridges at the store in town, so Katya gets to take as many pictures of the cottage and the cows and the pink sky and Trixie as she wants. Trixie’s skin is browning and freckles are blossoming on her cheeks and up and down her arms, on her chest, and Katya wants to document every single one and it’s fleeting existence for Katya only, on their honeymoon.

Katya leaves the lamp on next to the big bed in the blue night and whispers into Trixie’s skin, holds her breath as Trixie takes her into her mouth. Trixie is floating above her, thighs barely touching thighs, hands on Katya’s breasts. 

One especially hot morning Trixie comes out through the glass-paned door in just her nightgown, Katya knows she’s naked underneath since neither of them sleep clothed.

Katya is lying in the grass on her back, staring up at the tiny clouds that haven’t blocked the sun once. The grass is touching her wedding ring. 

Trixie kneels in the grass and dirt straddling her, blocking the hot sun with her head over Katya’s, she sticks her pointer finger in Katya’s mouth and Katya sucks on it, twists her tongue around it and rolls it over her fingerprint and knuckles. Katya is whining unthinkingly.

“Shhhh,” Trixie pulls out her finger and places it wet against Katya’s lips. “Be quiet, we don’t want the neighbors to hear,” there’s nobody around them for miles and Katya knows that, but her dick is rising steadily as Trixie whispers onto her face and wiggles in her lap. Katya is stuck on her back, she’s a beetle overturned and Trixie is taunting her.

Trixie crawls off of Katya and stands up, Katya can’t move and she doesn’t want to, moaning at the loss of Trixie’s ass heavy and grinding on her dick.

Trixie walks barefoot over to the patio table, grabs the blanket folded on top and brings it over to throw it on the ground. Katya climbs onto it, pulls off her t-shirt as Trixie slips off her nightgown. Katya is just in her panties but they’re tiny and her dick is peeking out the top, almost fully hard as Trixie rubs her own nipple, watching Katya strip.

Trixie pulls Katya into her, arms in arms and hands on legs. Katya is sweating and Trixie’s skin feels cool and smooth against hers, Katya is kissing her repeatedly and open-mouthed on the chin, down her neck and on each nipple, biting her left nipple a little so that she whines high-pitched.

Trixie’s breasts and soft stomach are tan and smooth, Katya can lick down her skin. The sun is warm on Katya’s back as she pushes Trixie down, so her shoulders are on the blanket, her hair fanned out from her head and her jaw a little open. Katya sinks into her slowly, Trixie moaning for more, more, but Katya wants to be slow, she’s fucked Trixie hard and fast, pinching skin and biting shoulders so many times but here in the grass in Italy she wants to push in-and-out gently, kiss Trixie’s cheeks and touch her forehead.

Katya has pictures of Trixie on a rented bike on the dirt road, riding in front of Katya with her long white dress flowing in the wind behind her, in that picture Katya can really see the sunshine and the flower in Trixie’s hair and what it looked like there, she’s immediately transported to the cottage and Trixie’s warm skin.

```

When they have to leave the cottage Trixie presses a kiss to it’s stone wall and wooden door, Katya holding her hand.

They end up on the beach, in a hotel, which is not as nice as the cottage but they spend entire days in the sand, Katya dreams of it in the hotel suite at night and she wakes up each morning and they go back. Trixie somehow has a wide array of pink suits, Katya has two white ones and Trixie makes sure that Katya is drinking water as they lie in the sun, splash in the ocean.

Trixie rubs sunscreen into Katya’s skin before they leave the hotel and the white walls each morning, the sun bright and reflecting off of the bed and making the room wide and silent. Trixie’s strong fingers pressing into Katya’s back, making her arch her spine, cause them both to stay in the hotel for a few hours past their desired parting time each day.

Katya loves Trixie in white sheets, loves her blonde, curly hair and her smile.

Katya is trying to learn Italian, she has a shitty book called _Italian For Tourists_ that she reads at the beach and practices when they go to bars at night, she’s trying to order every single nonalcoholic option on the menu in Italian, which is driving Trixie insane. Sometimes on their towels in the hot sand Trixie will reach a hand over when Katya is reading and whispering words to herself and take Katya’s left hand, twist her ring around and around and around, silently.

_“Je t’aime, ti amo,”_ Katya mumbles between repetitions. She can’t see her but Trixie is probably rolling her eyes and smiling.

When the trip is over, Katya is sad to go but she has her bags and bags of polaroids and her phone is almost full of pictures. She bought Trixie a tiny gold necklace at an antique store and Trixie bought her a dress, and as long as she’s with Trixie she’s guaranteed to have a good time. So she doesn’t mind going home.

```

The new house has long, wide windows in the front room, Trixie liked them (unsurprising) and that’s not the (only) reason Katya agreed on the house but she likes watching Trixie look out of them. The kitchen is white and Katya is wearing overall shorts and a flimsy white tank-top, no bra, there’s a blue tarp on the dark hardwood floor and she’s painting the living room since she has the day off.

The papers she has to grade are strewn across the big, wood dining room table, the one that Trixie’s mom bought for them as a present for the wedding.

Katya is sweating, the windows are wide open for the paint smell and she can hear the birds and the bugs outside. It’s like 100° out, and her thick hair is pulled back into a stretched-out hairband, but it keeps bursting out and she can’t find any clips to keep the shorter strands from falling into her eyes. She’s painting the living room a pale pink, Trixie picked the color since Katya bought a bright floral print couch. Trixie loves the couch but she insisted that if Katya was going to make such a bold choice that she could make a choice of her own, and of course Katya would let her, she’s so fucking whipped.

Katya is melting in the heat but she loves it, she doesn’t want to turn on the AC and Trixie is probably going to be mad when she gets home and feels how hot it is but she literally does not care because she is having the time of her life.

She’s ruminating on how fast her life changed. She’s a wife now, she has one of those too, she’s like, settled and stable and her life is real and Trixie being so wonderful has caused Katya to enjoy her days more, because after work she’s coming home to Trixie. Her wife and her sunshine.

Katya still feels like sometimes she is on the tightrope, but now the tightrope is more the size of a bridge, she’s not going to fall off.

And Trixie is standing behind her, with one hand pressing on the small of her back, encouraging her to step forward.

```

Trixie has a habit of twirling her gold wedding ring around her finger, in circles, smiling to herself and when Katya comes into the room and sees her doing this she bends down and kisses her hard on the mouth.

Trixie is excited over it being Katya’s spring break, she’s made an entire schedule of what they are going to do together every single day when they’re not unpacking the rest of the boxes, and she’s taken almost all of the days off (except today, so Katya can surprise her with this). Katya is just excited to be able to wake up entangled in Trixie and smell her skin, naked and soft, the sun smooth through the white curtains of their new bedroom.

Katya isn’t tall enough to paint very high up, so she’s taken a heavy wood chair from the new table to stand on, pushing the paint roller in big strokes to reach every spot. She wants to be done before Trixie comes home tonight, today is Trixie’s last day of work before the week they have together, and Katya knows it won’t be as good as their honeymoon but it’s probably going to be pretty fucking close.

Katya placed the precious polaroid nudes of the both of them from Italy in a fireproof box in the bedroom closet, stuck the others on the bathroom wall, eight tiled in each frame that she hung next to the shower.

There are pictures of Trixie’s curvy body perched on the blue tile of the cottage counter, the green-paneled window open next to her and her head cut out of the frame. 

Trixie’s hair had bleached in Italy, lightened in the sun and the salt of the ocean, and she developed an dream to garden. She’s planted her tomatoes in the back yard already, and she has lists and printed off pictures of flowers she wants to plant in the front.

Katya somehow finishes the living room, the paint is fancy (Trixie picked it out since she somehow knows things about home improvement, Katya is sure it’s because of all of the HGTV that she watches) and it looks like this coat is perfect already. Katya is relieved, since she isn’t particularly skilled at anything technical. 

Katya keeps all of the windows wide open but fishes a couple of fans out of the hall closet, plugs them in and faces them strategically so that they blow warm wind through her sweaty hair. After putting the paint and tarp away, she sits at the table and starts grading the personal essays that she assigned for the final for French 1 before break. 

She’s immensely pleased with how much her classes have seemed to improve, she’s been trying more repetition than she usually does in the classroom with grammar and new vocabulary, and it seems to be working really well. She loves reading about what her youngest students say about themselves in the essays, they’re only a few sentences since they haven’t learned much, but she still likes how each one is different, how she can learn more about each of the kids.

She’s lucky to be able to teach them and help them find their place in the world.

As she’s grading, it seems like the sun gets hotter (it is around noon now, she realizes, earlier than she thought) and she gets sweatier. She goes to get some lemonade with ice out of the refrigerator, and she sips it frantically, pulls off her overalls so she’s just wearing white panties and her tanktop. Her legs are sticking to the wood seat, and her toes are sticking to the wood floor. Trixie had given her a mani/pedi the night before, her nails and toenails are a hot pink. Trixie had gone on and on about the gel polish that’s supposed to look prettier and stay on longer. Katya thinks that the nail polish is probably...not special but Trixie did really well at clipping and filing her nails, and also especially well at moisturizing her cuticles. 

Time passes slowly, she gets through a lot of the grading since she’s a little muddled, and when she looks up again from her work it’s around 2pm. She decides to find something to eat and she takes her salad over to the floral print couch, eats it with a big glass of water, watching the news for a little before turning the channel to House Hunters.

Katya feels so domestic, waiting for Trixie to come home, she did a good chunk of her work and she’s probably a whole third done with the entirety of break ahead of her to finish, and they’re going out on a double date with Violet and Pearl tonight.

Katya can feel the sweat building up beneath her wedding band and she smiles to herself, closing her eyes a little. She’ll just take a tiny nap and then Trixie will come home and see the painted walls.

```

When Trixie comes home Katya is still sleeping, the windows are open and the fans whirring, Trixie lets her sleep as she showers, pulls on a sundress.

“Wake up,” Trixie sits next to Katya on the couch, she can’t contain her smile at the pink, Katya has a streak of paint across her cheekbone and she’s almost naked. Katya’s eyes open slowly and she smiles languidly, blinking.

“You’re home,” Katya breathes and Trixie nods, trails her hand from Katya’s shoulder down to her panties, pulling them down the tiniest bit. Trixie can see Katya’s eyes darken and pupils widen as her fingers stroke Katya’s soft skin.

“Honey, I’m home,” Trixie grins, leans down to bite Katya’s exposed hip and Katya hisses, pushes her dick against Trixie’s cheek to try to gain friction. Trixie holds her hips down.

“Did my wife paint the house for me?” Trixie whispers, turning her head so that her lips are moving against Katya’s dick in her panties. Katya moans a broken _yeah_. The windows are open and the fans are still going in the dining room. 

Trixie is kneeling on the clean hardwood floor, sucking Katya’s dick and Katya’s hand is in her hair, stroking it with shaking fingers. Trixie is humming around her, pinching her thigh every few seconds, making her gasp and giggle.

“I want to hold you,” Katya whispers, leads Trixie off her dick with a hand on her jaw, bringing her up to the couch to lay on top of Katya. Katya’s dick is probably leaking all over her pretty sundress but she has others.

“I love you,” Katya whispers into her mouth, Trixie’s body is hot above her and around her, elbows framing her head and breathing up her nose.

“I love you too,” Trixie grins and bites her bottom lip, leans in to Katya and kisses her on the cheek, finishes Katya off as Katya fingers her, looking into each other's eyes and gasping.

```

Trixie changes her dress, into the yellow sundress she had worn on their first date and Katya takes a quick shower, pulls on a white dress and some lipstick quick after, brushes out her hair to air-dry. She doesn’t bother with other makeup, it’s too hot, and Trixie is just wearing mascara too.

Trixie looks like an angel in the heat, her slow smile. She has more wrinkles by her eyes to match Katya’s after getting so tan in Italy and Katya likes to press into them with a fingertip when she laughs. Trixie grabs her pink purse and follows Katya out the door after they’ve shut all the windows and turned on the AC. 

They drive to the restaurant and Katya still smokes out the window, going to Italy didn’t change her habits but she’s working on it, she has other things to worry about such as Trixie and her garden, probably.

Pearl and Violet look good, they’ve coordinated their whites and they look cool and modern as always, Violet’s hair up in a tight bun and Pearl’s flowing down her back in perfect curls. Katya hugs both of them, they were just over for her and Trixie’s housewarming party that took the place of Saturday’s dinner.

“I wanna get a dog to match yours,” Katya offers as a greeting, Pearl snorts and Violet rolls her eyes. 

“He’s a _pug_ , you idiot, and I can’t imagine you ever being able to take care of a dog,” Violet towers over her and pats her on the top of her head as Katya yells in indignation.

“Shut the fuck up-- I so could,” Katya turns to Trixie who is deliberately not looking her way. “Trix! Don’t you believe me? I could be such a good dog mom,” Katya is holding onto her bicep, digging her nails in until she turns Katya’s way. They all sit down and take out the menus.

“I’m not so sure about a dog, Katya…” Trixie is squinting down at the menu. Katya has been telling her that she needs glasses for months.

“Fine,” Katya huffs, earning another snort from Pearl. Violet slaps her on the shoulder.

“So,” Violet changes the subject. “How’s the new place?” She takes her water from the waiter with a sly smile. Pearl rolls her eyes.

“Good! So good, Vi. I painted the living room today,” Katya is still reading her menu. Does she want a burger? Maybe not, Trixie doesn’t like to kiss her when she tastes like meat and Katya doesn’t really blame her.

“Yeah she painted it to surprise me,” Trixie sounds like she’s smiling, Katya looks to her and she is, in the dim light of the restaurant, her hand migrates to Katya’s thigh.

“No fucking at the table!” Pearl yelps, earning a look from the woman sitting diagonally from them. Violet shoots her a glare. Katya bursts into laughter, dropping her menu and intertwining her and Trixie’s fingers between them.

They eat and talk for hours, Katya orders coffee at the end of the night with dessert and Trixie eyes her, Katya smirks back while sipping it. Katya’s going to be up all night, she doesn’t care. She wants to sit in the blue dark with Trixie like it’s a Lana song, with the window open and the TV on.

They all leave together, walking out into the night to the parking lot and to their respective cars. It feels like that first night almost, Katya miserable and smoking against her car in front of Pearl and Violet’s, thinking that maybe she would never see Trixie again. Katya hops into the driver’s seat and lets Trixie get settled as she pulls out of the lot, starts down the street towards their house, with the front yard and backyard and pink living room, and the big bed that they share, and their plates and coffee maker. 

Trixie is beautiful in the dark, the light of her phone on her face and reflecting in her eyes, goosebumps up her arm where Katya’s is rubbing against it on the armrest. Her wedding ring is glinting in the streetlights.

Trixie passes her phone to her right hand and clasps Katya’s hand with her left on the armrest. She lets out a little sigh and yawns, Katya can’t wait to sit with her as she falls asleep slowly on the couch in their living room, the dark around them warm and swirling, the cars driving past in the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitions:  
> Je t'aime: I love you  
> Ti amo: I love you (Italian)

**Author's Note:**

> French Definitions:  
> Bonjour: Hello  
> J’adore ta robe: I love your dress  
> Belle femme: Beautiful woman  
> Ma colombe: My dove (this is both a French pet name and a nod to phosphorescent's song "my dove, my lamb" which you should listen to if you want mood music!)


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